There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
