you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
