you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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