with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
