Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
