i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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