I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
