Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
