please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He kissed a someone with a penis
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
