My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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