Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dignity is for republicans.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
