Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize