we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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