A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
