I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
