We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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