He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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