Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
