Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
