I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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