would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
