Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
