Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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