Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
