You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
