What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
