He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
