It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
