my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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