i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
