Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
