They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
