He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
