so that wasnt chicken after all
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Less talking, more tequila
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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