Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
