Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
