You made me cry and you don't even care
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
