i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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