My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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