Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
