drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Randomize
