I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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