yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
