your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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