Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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