Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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