No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
