A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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