So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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