her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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