She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
